I should probably have washed these tomatoes before eating them. This one tastes like spinal muscular atrophy. Type 1. Damn 5th chromosome. In addition to this, it is 4:20AM on a Thursday and I am drinking freshly brewed coffee. I figure that by not using alcohol to get to sleep, I will use caffeine to stay awake. Stay awake until I fall asleep about 16 hours from now. These are my options: shut down or reset.
My wrist hurts from playing video games and typing all day. I should probably get some ibuprofen for that. I am full of healthy ideas.
I am incredibly healthy now that I don't drink. Yes. Well, at least I will stop puking on people / everything, pissing in pools, etc. Maybe. Speaking of puking on things, here's a story.
It is Best Friends Day Oh-Nine. I sip Tom Jones out of a plastic 325 while Graham rides atop the car. His weight compresses the ceiling above me and I push back.
"Whoa, he says."
"Can I see your lighter-- Oh. Thanks" I ask Annie for her lighter. It is the only one in the car. Before I finish her name, the lighter is held in the middle of the car, her other hand on the wheel. "Thanks." We are stuck in traffic. No one wants to ride their bike, none of the people I talk to before hand, so we are stuck in traffic. I am none too happy. I take another big hit off ol' Paul Jones. 4.30 for 325ml of disgusting mock whiskey.
Oh my god, these details don't matter. So at Hadad's I am barely floating above water, so sick and drunk. I tell everyone I am with that we need to leave. I feel terrible. Everyone looks at me and asks the same question: "Why do we need to leave?" Why exactly do you want to leave this magical place, Hunter? Do you hate mud? Are you sad half your cigarettes melted, or that someone lifted your whiskey? No, guys, I am going to puke all over everything, my insides are going to be everywhere. This does not concern anyone.
To the bathroom! Across the biggest section, I do whatever the aquatic equivalent is of crawling. I reach a wall and hoist myself up. The booze sloshes to the top of my body as I belch green. I traverse the paved walkway. Two girls almost look at me, you know, in a way. I try so hard to contain myself that I puke all over my chest. They definitely now look at me in a big way. In disgust they huddle their bodies to the left(mine) side of the walkway as they pass. I puke again. I decide I am gross. I jump in the least populated section to wash off. I stumble ashore like some sort of dehydrated shipwreck survivor and make my way to the bathroom. I pee, I feel good, I return to swim.
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