Because I want to write about something, and I was just reminded of the first time I ever got high:
It is freshman orientation, and I am working the Fencing table with a friend of mine and my girlfriend at the time("Jane" again), who was a junior. We have fun cracking jokes on freshman, because, hey, we're no longer one of them, and that's what we do. Freshman suck.
Jane gets a call on her phone. It is Paul Ruecroft, a senior at James River High. He and my good friend Luke are hanging out and want us to join them. I didn't know Paul well, other than the fact that his father taught my sixth grade science class, but Luke and I had become pretty good friends by this point, dominating any class that we shared. So we go over to Paul's house, enter, and head straight to the back of the one-story building. It is kind of run down and packed with random shit.
Let me explain the setup to you. Paul's parents were both huge hippies back in the day. His mother is sitting on the bed, his younger brother is sitting across from me. Another family member, female, is there. The rest of us are positioned around a gravity bong(GB, for all of you who don't have better things to do with your time than say everything out, fully). Now, you may be thinking, "where is the father?" Good question. While we're in this nearly vacant, white room smoking bud, the father of the household is paralyzed from the hips down in the room next to us, asleep. Mr. Ruecroft had been in a biking accident a year prior, and was basically fucked.
9:00PM: Mrs. Ruecroft tells us we have to be relatively quiet. There is someone in the next room who works for the county. Yeah, my sixth grade science teacher. We could get "in deep shit." I get the impression that people who smoke too much are really paranoid. Paul takes the first hit off of the GB. The resevoir is dirty. As my first time smoking, so far I am unimpressed.
9:05: I am taking mental notes on how to hit a GB. Of course, being a noob, I botch the first two. I drop the bottle, half full, into the water and it looks like a jet engine streaking across the sky, smoke pluming up and into my face.
9:15: A lot of sexual inneundos about "sucking correctly" are made. By now, on a fourth GB, I have it down. I turn to Luke and inform him that I, and I qoute, "Don't feel anything yet." His only response is, "You should take more."
9:25: Luke is telling me not to talk to Satan if I see him. Being stupid and naive, fear washes over my heart. I am not an atheist at this point in my life, and my belief structure allows the fear to be acceptable to my reality. "Don't talk to Satan if you see him, he might convince you to give him your soul." I believe him, but quickly forget and begin poking things.
9:30: I take my seventh and final GB. Somewhere between 4 and 6, I have been poking my girlfriend relentlessly. She is visibly uncomfortable. So, instead of being logical, I be high. I continue poking and groping on her body.
10:10: I am in the back seat of a car, on the right side, Luke to my left. In front of me is my girlfriend, and, driving, is Paul. We are on one of the most treacherous roads known to man--Old Bon Air. Let me explain. This road is home to over thirty car-related deaths, ranging from people flipping their cars at the bottom, in a creek and drowning, to vehicular manslaughter. It winds, with many trees and branches hanging over the gnolls that encase the road. Mostly drunk people die on this road. Luckily, we were just high as shit.
I decide that unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door will be a good idea. Apparently, I didn't realize we were in a moving car. I begin stepping out of the car as Luke bounds across the backseat, slamming me back with a swift elbow to the chest. He basically saves my life.
10:19: We have arrived at Wendy's. I didn't realize, until now, that we were on a food run. I had been viewing our exodus from Paul's house as I would view a movie while high. If you've watched movies high, you know exactly what I am talking about. Every scene is interesting and totally unrelated to the subsequent scenes. Like a group of interrelated short stories that have nothing to do with eachother. What I am saying is there was a lack of cohesion to my thought, and I'm not going to lie, it was awesome.
10:03: We are still in front of the bright menu. There are like 3 cars in line behind us. Paul slowly turns around to look at Luke and I, probably to ask us what we want. I just see two bloodshot eyes and a huge grin. I begin laughing uncontrollably. Everyone laughs, but Paul pulls us back together to focus on food. The employees in Wendy's are alerted to our high, I am sure.
11:30: We are in Luke and Paul's friend's house. His name is Cory, and his entire family is getting high. This is awesome. I feel like I am on the Underground Railroad for Smokers. The Wendy's is long since destroyed, my girlfriend has left, and Paul has lectured me on making her uncomfortable. I say, "whatever," and proceed to join a group of people sitting in a circle passing a pipe.
12:40AM: We finish passing the pipe around. I am riding another high. Cory, Luke, and I go for a walk around the neighborhood.
12:50: I decide that ding-dong-ditch will actually be fun, for once, since I am fucked up. Luke and I go up to a random house. Cory stays behind on the street because he is a very paranoid person.
12:50:05: I ring the doorbell as fast as I can. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
12:50:15: We have forgotten that the "ditch" is key to playing.
12:50:20: The door begins to open, we freak out and start bolting.
12:55: Cory is nowhere to be found, and we can't find his house. Nothing in the neighborhood looks familiar.
1:00: We see a man in a robe and boxers marching down the street toward us. We walk by and say hello, immediately cracking afterwards. Definitely the guy who came to the door. He is now stampeding around the neighborhood seeking retribution. We are apparently bigger than he thought we would be, because he doesn't even question us.
1:10: "Psssssst." "Pssssssst." What the fuck is that sound, I ask Luke. We are in front of Cory's house, but aren't sure which one is his. All the lights are off.
Luke: "Were the lights on when we left?"
Hunter: "Uh, yeah, I think so."
"Pssssst," a sound eminates from the bushes.
Hunter: "No, seriously, what the fuck is that?"
Luke: "Cory? Cory, is that you?"
Cory pops out of the bushes and stumbles towards us, scared shitless.
Cory: "Dudes, I thought the cops were coming."
Apparently he had run back to his house, told everyone to hide, locked everything up, and turned off all the lights. He closed up shop.
Inside, I pass out under a table in the living room and have the best sleep I have ever had. Luke and I walked back to his house the next day, and I was a changed man.
[this is good] I have removed it a question
Posted by: Elijah Elam | 06/15/2010 at 08:35 PM